Looking Back
by Jily99
Summary: Lily Potter is looking back to the time when she was Lily Evans, when she was in Hogwarts, when she despised James Potter. POV of Lily. Hope you guys enjoy. Rated T just in case.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: JK Rowling is the brilliant mind behind Harry Potter and the inspiration of this story. All characters belong to her.**

James Potter and I were sitting on the couch in our living room. He was reading the Daily Prophet, looking to see if there were any people we knew who had died. This was one of the very few times that we had to ourselves.

Being Aurors was tough work and we barely had time to breath, but it was worth it. We were able to fight for the greater good.

Thinking of our job made me think of the times back when we were young and carefree, where the dangers of the real world we just rumors we heard from our peers. Back when we were in Hogwarts, learning to fight the dark arts but not knowing why.

"James?", I asked my husband as I leaned my head on his shoulder.

"Hmm"

"When did things change between us?" I asked cautiously not knowing how he would react.

"I don't know Lily." There was a moment of silence

After a couple of seconds James spoke again. "I guess that day in fifth year with the incident with Snape."

We never spoke about that day but I knew exactly what he was talking about. It was the day i stopped talking to the boy, the day Severus Snape and I stopped being friends.


	2. The End of A Friendship

I was running but I couldn't see where. The tears streaming down my face making everything just a blurred image. I was still in shock, my first ever friendship ruined, destroyed, just by one word.

I could hear James calling for me but I didn't want to talk to anyone and especially not him.

My ears were ringing with that one gut wrenching word: _Mudblood. _I couldn't think straight so i went to the only place I felt comfortable.

I stood there on the seventh floor corridor thinking of a comfortable place for me to think. The door appeared on the wall and to most people who didn't know the Hogwarts castle as well as I did would have been shocked, but I had the need for the Room of Requirements before, but for entirely different reasons.

I open the large doors and stepped into the room filled with comfy couches and a warm welcoming fire blazing in the fireplace. I sat down and wiped the tears away.

I had decided at that moment that I would no longer cry over Severus Snape, the boy who I became friends with when I was nine was gone, now there was just a cold blooded empty shell that walked the halls of Hogwarts that just happened to look like the boy.

As I thought about it he had been very distant ever since he started hanging out with his Slytherin friends. We wouldn't be able to simply talk in the halls, he would ask to meet in dark places where no one would find us. I hadn't given it much thought back then but know it made sense. He was turning into them.

Severus had promised that he would never call me a Mudblood, when a Slytherin had called me that when we were in first year, but I guess times change and he's moved on. I decided I would do the same.

I got up feeling a bit better and ready to talk to my friends, my true friends, about what happened.

* * *

"Pass- Oh my dear are you alright?" The Fat Lady sounded concerned, probably at my red eyes and tear stained face.

"I'm alright. Mimbulus Mimbletonia." I said with what I hoped to be a smile.

I stepped into the Gryffindor common room and rushed up to the girls dorm not wanting to meet anyone on the way, although there were only a few people because everyone was outside enjoying the few rare moments of freedom and good weather.

I was greeted with hugs immediately after walking into the girls dorm.

"Oh Lily, we saw what happened are you alright?" Alice Prewett asked me.

I knew I could count on my three best friends to comfort me and especially at this time.

Together they were the perfect people to come to when you needed help of any kind. Alice Prewett was the kind shy girl of our group who tended to forget things quite a bit. Emmeline Vance, Em, was the smart, reasonable one of the group, and then there was Marlene McKinnon, or Marley as I liked to call her, who was the hot tempered, sporty one, who usually acted on impulse and didn't stop and think about what she was doing.

"I'm alright Ali, I should have listened to you guys. Snape is a good for nothing backstabbing Slytherin."

"Ya, he sure is." Marlene said with a dangerous glint in her eyes.

"Look you guys its fine, I'm just gonna ignore him so don't do anything you'll regret." I gave a meaningful look at Marlene.

"What?! He deserves whatever's coming at him."

"Marlene. Please just leave him alone."

"Fine. I'll try." Marlene had a defeated look on her face that made me laugh.

"How about we go down to the kitchen and have some ice cream." Alice suggested. "Besides, exams are over for us, we should be happy and celebrating."

So with on that happy note we left the girls dorm and headed to the kitchen.

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys, this chapter is pretty fast and not my best writing so far but I'll have more drama in the next chapters. So please review and tell me what you think and please give me some suggestions on what to write for my next chapters I'll try and incorporate them into the story (I will of coarse give credit for the ideas given to me.) **


	3. A New Friendship

The year had ended with me laughing along with my friends and although I was happy, I still felt sad. I had lost my childhood best friend. And because of this I was left to deal with my sister and her walrus of a boyfriend, Vermin - I mean Vernon Dursley all alone. Emmeline, Alice, and Marlene all had left the country with their families on vacation, but I was stuck here. Severus had approached me a couple of times when I was out with my parent, both of whom had known about what had happened, but I tried to ignore him.

And since summer dragged on with nothing for me to do, I was glad it was over. After a long boring summer, I found myself on platform 9 3/4.

I made my way to the train after saying goodbye to my parents and was met with a grinning Alice. She had told me that she had gone to Romania with her family and had a great time. I listened to her talk about getting there on a plane and how excited she was since it was her first time, but I had zoned out and hadn't heard the rest because I saw Potter. Recently, and it freaked me out, I had started to think about him more.

I watched him as he lifted his trunk onto the train. I had a lot of trouble lifting my own trunk off the ground two inches, but he lifted it, at least two feet to get it on the train, with such ease. I guessed it was because of his muscles and I was probably right, after all he was the captain of the Gryffindor quiditch team.

I was suddenly pulled back to reality when Alice started poking me in the arm. She was the only one I had told about Potter and although Em and Marley were my friends too I felt closer to Alice. She took one look at where I had been staring, nodded her head in realization and we took our trunks to the train.

After finding Em and Marley, we went and found an empty cabin and I sat there half listening to them share stories of their summer and half day dreaming about Potter. I found it weird that I was but he seemed different.

* * *

After getting off the train, I hadn't felt hungry and so I went up to the Gryffindor common room and found a book in there so I curled up and started to read.

I heard the common room door open and close and when I looked up i was met with the warm hazel eyes of James Potter.

"Hey Evans." He said to me sitting down on the couch opposite the one I was occupying.

"Hi. How was your summer?" I wanted to have a civil conversation with him just once.

"It was good, and yours?" He seemed unsure of his answer. I guess he though I was misleading him with my kindness which made me want to laugh.

"It was good. Look Potter I just want to give you a second chance. For me to see if you are really aren't as bad as I thought. And don't get excited, I'm not saying I'll go out with you, but I am willing to be friends with you." I waited for a reaction to this. His face slowly broke into a grin. He looked like a child on Christmas. I really did want to be friends with him, he had dialed down the hexing and pranking, on me and everyone else.

"Sure Evans, we can be friends."

* * *

A couple of days later I was walking to my first N.E.W.T level Potions class, and I was excited, up until I realized I had no partner. Every year I would pick Severus as his partner and this year I was planning on ignoring him. I was hopeful that there would be someone with him as his partner. No such luck.

I walked into the class and saw Severus in our usual table. I saw him looking at me hopefully and I immediately looked around to the other tables to see who else was partner-less. Em, Alice, and Marley weren't in this class and so I couldn't partner up with them.

"Oi, Evans, over here." I heard a familiar voice call over. I turned around and saw James looking dead at me and I rushed over to sit next to him. I saw Remus was with Sirius and I guessed that Peter wasn't able to take this class.

"Thank you." I said quickly.

All through the class I could feel Severus' eyes staring at the back of my head, but I didn't look back, I focused on the potion at hand and pretended he didn't exist.

* * *

**A/N For those of you that care, I update roughly every week. This chapter wasn't my best I have a lot of work that needs to be done for school before winter break, so I am really busy. When winter break comes though, I'll be writing much more and longer chapters. Review please.**


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